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the time everything changed...

9/16/2020

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2:13 AM...years ago in a land far, far away... 
A young mother of two stood at her back door in robe and slippers. She opened the door to snow, wind, and the frigid temperatures that move in and visit in January, in Michigan.  
Beside her was a little ball of white fluff.  The young mother waited until the puppy finished her business and played in the snow, out of reach. Finally, the puppy returns to the warmth of the house. Back to sleep, the pup went.  
Elsewhere in the house were 3 other people who wanted that sweet puppy. Begging and human puppy-eyes won out in the end, with promises of "I'll take care of her”...resounded across the land.
The puppy did bring joy and excitement to the home. The young mother was happy and also realized that maybe they may have made a mistake in adding this addition to the family, at this time.
The children were too young to know how to care for a pet. A 2-year-old and 4-year-old could not be expected to get up several times a night to let the dog out. The possibility of outcomes for this scenario was frightening and endless. None of them good.
Only one parent ever heard that cute cuddly pup trying to tell us she wanted to go outside. And we've established that the two children were too young to be held responsible.
During the day, the young mother now had her two "babies" who were finally both just out of diapers and sleeping through the night.  She also had a new baby, of sorts.  Another newborn, so to speak. Totally dependent.
Don't fret - we found that adorable puppy a new home with a loving family. There appear to be no scars for my children today, as they have their own pets now.
 
My point of the story is this…
 
As soon as you trust yourself, you'll learn how to live. 
~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
 
We do trust ourselves, right? Or do we?
For me personally, that night standing in the snow helped me learn how to trust myself and pay attention to my whispers. The whispers that were not popular, accepted, or even acknowledged by others, perhaps. But they were real for me. Whispers matter. 
The world might think it's about mom vs dog - but that's not it.
The world might think that it's about selfishness vs. contributing to the whole - but that's not it, either.
It's about trusting yourself. 
It about knowing yourself well enough to put self-doubt and second-guessing away long enough to know what your heart is really telling you.
It's about not taking a decade to start living the life you were meant to live, instead of just imagined.  
It's about taking the time to honor your own whispers and create that version of Y.O.U. that you thought was too good to be true.
It's there waiting for you.  You have to answer the door and let it in.
 
How many times does it take for us to learn to listen to our whispers?
Once? 5 times? 5 years? 50 years? 
Every time we do something because we were programmed to believe that was the only way to behave...are we being honest with ourselves? Having a family. Having a pet. Where we live.  How we choose to support ourselves.Who we choose to associate with.What we read... do...say...believe... think … it's all ours to decide.Somehow we’ve got this notion that life is a Dress Rehearsal. It isn’t.  This is it!You are one decision away from the freedom of trusting yourself.Whispers to Wisdom,Rita
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you don't have to endure criticism!

9/2/2020

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Hello, friends...
There is NO rule or mandate out there in the world that says we have to accept or even listen to, criticism from others. So why does hearing it or reading it cause us so much pain, anger, frustration, fear, and self-doubt? 
Is there such a thing as "constructive criticism"?  
Criticism:  the expression of disapproval of someone or something based on perceived faults or mistakes.
Constructive: serving a useful purpose; tending to build-up.
So, in theory, if someone criticizes us (or expresses disapproval of something we did or our character) it is based on their perception.  We all have our own reality and perception - everything in our world is a perception.   So who is "right"?
The big question here is...Do you want to be right or happy?
One of my business pillars here at Whispers to Wisdom is knowing who you are, what you want, and why you want it.  Until all of that is crystal clear in your mind and vision, you will simply endure criticism, usually from one of two unhealthy views.  
  •  If you are a people-pleaser you want to please, even at your own expense. 
  •  If you are a debater, you want to speak your own truth and persuade.  
There is an alternative.   
My 3 step formula to move past any kind of criticism will help you listen to your own whispers, so that you can get to  your own wisdom ...and begin living  the live you were meant to live
If we merely accept what is said to us as criticism in order to please others, and we move on and not have it continue to shadow our self-image and ability to grow and live the life of our dreams, it might work.  But how often does that happen?
If we argue, defend our position, try to convince or bully someone into our way of thinking, and then forgive and forget and move on with our life, it might work.  But how often does that happen?
It's purely an inside job.  How to handle criticism and even endure it is simply a choice you have to decide to make.  It's simple but not always easy.  It is SO worth the effort to learn these 3 steps to deal with criticism and move on with your life.                Here is the 3 step process - easy 'peezy, eh?                                            *******************
1.  Say a polite thank-you and promise to consider what's been said.
2.  When in doubt if it's true or you can't stop thinking about what was said...ask for honest feedback from someone who cares, knows you well, has your best interest at heart, and is a person you trust.
3.  Forgive.  Anything else is a state of conflict that erases the possibility of your feeling inspired.  Forgive anything...What they said, what they did,  what they wrote, what they thought, how they misjudged you, their perceptions, opinions, and their ego....all of it -  whatever it is that YOU have told yourself.  Let it go.  If you decide to let the person go out of your life, well, that's your decision.  Remember, though, sometimes we get rid of the physical beings in our lives but never remove their presence and after-effects. 
You were designed to do great things.  You are the only person like you.  You have gifts and talents others need.  Just Do You and attract the people who get it and get you.
You can forgive and not say a word to the other person.
You can question things your MFTP's (mother, father, teacher, preacher) taught you in the past.  You're an adult now.  Make your own choices that are right for you right now.
Our reality is what we decide it is. 
When you KNOW rather than DOUBT, you'll discover the necessary ability to carry out your purpose.   
I'm waiting to hear from you!
Live Your Whispers!
Rita
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    Rita Long

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